What Makes a Good Friend?
Supporting positive mental health in primary school (without keeping score).
Friendship plays a big part in children’s wellbeing. When pupils feel they belong, they tend to feel safer, calmer and more confident. When friendships are tricky, you may see more worry, tears, anger, or children who withdraw.
The good news is that friendship skills can be taught,and using shared language in class helps children handle everyday fallouts more calmly.
Why friendship matters for mental health
Good friendships help children:
- Feel they fit in and aren’t alone
- Build confidence and self-esteem
- Manage feelings better
- Learn empathy and kindness
- Recover after disagreements
6 friendship skills to teach
- Kindness – “What would kindness look like right now?”
- Trust – keep promises, tell the truth, don’t share private things
- Respect – listen, accept differences, allow boundaries (“I hear you. That’s okay.”)
- Fairness – take turns, share the lead (“Does this feel fair for both of you?”)
- Repair – “I didn’t like it when ___. I felt ___. Next time, can we ___?”
- Inclusion – it’s okay to choose a friend, it’s not okay to repeatedly leave someone out
Class rule that works well: “You can choose who you play with, but you can’t be unkind.”
When a child says, “They’re not my friend anymore!”
Try:
- “That sounds upsetting.”
- “Tell me what happened.”
- “Which skill is missing: kindness, respect, fairness, trust, repair or inclusion?”
Then coach one next step: a kind sentence, a clear boundary, or a repair attempt.
When we teach friendship, we’re teaching children how to belong, manage feelings, and put things right, positive mental health in everyday classroom life.